Household Rules for Men
Ephesians 5 was written as ‘Household Rules’ for families and were primarily addressed to men. Back in Biblical times, God knew that households were the glue that held society together. God must have also known that men would need help in this area.
In Ephesians 5:23, God calls men to be the spiritual head of their households as Christ is the head of the church. He calls men to be priests in their homes; to minister to their wives and children; to plant seeds of blessings in the lives of their families - even when we don’t always feel like it.
Since the beginning of time, the enemy has been trying to destroy men. If he can cut the head off of the family, the rest of the body suffers and dies a slow death.
Biblical Headship is High Calling
Biblical headship does not mean men control and demand. It is a high calling with great responsibility. Like the great theologian - Spiderman once said, - “with great POWER comes great responsibility.”
Who did God approach right after Eve ate the forbidden fruit in the garden? Right! Adam!
But Why? God wanted to point to the fact that Adam was primarily responsible because he was ordained to be the HEAD of this first family that GOD created.
Husbands, Love your wives, just as. . .
When I first heard this verse, it blew me out of the water! I had to ask myself “Do I love my wife Laurie like that? Am I willing to die for her like Jesus died for me?”
At the time, I wasn’t to sure. But I now know that my answer would be a definite “Yes”! I would!! - Would you?
When God created Eve, the first woman, she was taken out of Adam’s what? Right, Rib!!!
Notice God didn’t take her from his head so he could rule over her, nor from his feet so he could trample on her, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him and near his heart to be loved by him. MEN, This is good stuff!
Biblical headship means we lay down our lives for our wives or bride JUST AS Christ, the Groom, laid down His life for his bride, the Church. This husband/wife relationship is a model of the Jesus/church relationship.
Marriage-A Profound Mystery
That’s why the Bible calls MARRIAGE- a Profound Mystery!
Headship in no way means less than or that the man has complete authority over the woman. It ALSO doesn’t mean that we do the dishes, clean the house or do the laundry so we can get some later.
No, we do it because we are called to be servant leaders and love our wives as Christ loved the church. We BOTH are His image bearers. We BOTH are equally loved and valued by God and we BOTH have equal access to Him.
God just calls us to different roles. These roles will be different based on each person’s background. BUT, the Bible is clear that the husband’s role is to be the HEAD of the family by FIRST being a servant leader.
He loves his wife sacrificially with humility and as a leader following after Christ AND being responsible for his families physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
Jesus Not About Titles
Listen Men, Jesus wasn’t about titles, BUT about towels and washing the feet of others and so should we! Especially our families.
The wife’s role is that of a ally or helper. To lead well, a husband needs his wife’s help, her advice and her involvement in their relationship, home, and family life, including the decision making.
When mom and dad are loving each other well, our children feel secure, loved and protected and we are wearing the breastplate of righteousness to engage in spiritual warfare against the enemy to protect our families.
Fathers, Don’t Exasperate. . .
Ephesians 6:4 talks about the importance of us as dads. It says “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Now, how do we exasperate our children? One way, is by having a critical spirit. There is nothing wrong with correcting or disciplining our children as long as we do it in love to build them up. BUT to take our anger out on our children and verbally put them down can have a devastating negative affect.
Let me tell you about my dad. As a kid, I felt like I could never do anything right. No matter what I did, my dad didn’t affirm me. He would constantly take negative withdrawals from my emotional bank account and rarely give me a positive deposit. It seemed like he was always criticizing me.
My mom would have me go in the garage to help my dad work on the family car. He would ask me to get him a screwdriver or some tool BUT it never seemed like I could never get the right one for him. It got to the point that I dreaded being around him.
My dad really didn’t believe in Jesus either. What he did believe was going to church was a waste of time. He thought doing this, writing this post to you about becoming a Godly man is stupid and a waste of time. MEN, I hope and pray that you do not feel that this has been stupid or a waste of time?
He couldn’t see why I liked to go to church or grow in my faith. He’d even make cutting remarks about it from time to time. Have you ever have someone close to you make cutting remarks about you or your faith? Man, it can really hurt.
He also swore like a drunken sailor and he would make inappropriate sexual remarks around my young girls. I loved my dad but was embarrassed to have my wife & children around him. Any of you have a dad like that?
My dad did affirm me when I was 42 years old when he wrote me a card telling me how proud he was of me. I’ll treasure that card for ever.
Another Way We Exasperate
Now, another way we exasperate our children as dads is to neglect them. Your children need you. They need an active Godly man in their lives who believes in them, to build them up, to plant seeds of affirmation, security and love into their lives.
But when a dad disappears from a child’s life, it too can have a negative devastating effect.
A young lady at our Ladies of Honor Camp this past winter told her leader that her dad left her when she was 4 years old and she thinks all men are LOSERS.
Another young man at our MOH Camp said his dad left when he was only 2 months old. You know I hear these stories all the time and they break my heart and it makes me MAD. I now want to Make a Difference - MAD.
Hope has 2 Sons: Anger & Courage
Listen Men, Hope has 2 sons. Anger - and - Courage.
Anger; well he gets MAD at the way things are.
Courage, well he gets MAD by Making a Difference. Men, this is how we change our world.
We need Anger. We need to get Angry at the injustice in the world; things that shouldn’t be and probably won’t change unless we get MAD and Make a Difference and do something about it. It’s a NEGATIVE energy - but it causes us to make a POSITIVE change.
But we also need Courage. We need the Courage to stand up for a cause and declare that we’re going to do something about it.
So how do we get MAD & Make a Difference in this world? First, WE need to change ourselves before WE can change the world.
Transformation doesn’t begin with others. It begins with ME! It begins with YOU!
The moment I make good decisions and embrace good values, and do my part to Make a Difference, - then I’m able to help others make a difference too.
OK MEN! We have heard a lot of great inspiration from God’s word BUT, if we do nothing with it, nothing changes.
Inspiration + Application = Transformation!
James 1:22 says “Don’t just be hearers of the word. DO - WHAT - IT - SAYS!” (My emphasis)
SO, I want to encourage you to take God’s inspiration that you’ve heard this weekend and apply it to your life. When you do, the God of the universe can transform you and your families.
Men, Imagine what would happen if every man here - left this weekend committed to being - MAD MEN or Making a Difference - Men.
Our Battle Cry
This is a stake in the ground moment! Let’s close with a BATTLE CRY from 1 Corinthians 13:11. Repeat after me.
“When I was a child,
I spoke like a child,
I understood like a child,
I thought like a child;
BUT when I became a man,
I put away childish things.”
Men, it’s time to become a man by putting away childish things and putting on the Full Armor of God because this world is not a playground. It’s a WHAT! Battleground.
Let’s go to Battle in Prayer
GREAT! Let’s go to battle right now in prayer.
Lord, we are angry and MAD at the mayhem and destruction the enemy is inflicting in our culture, marriages and families today.
We want to get MAD or Make A Difference through your son, Jesus Christ our Lord & Savior.
Lord, there is nothing more manly than a man who makes his relationship & his identity with YOU his number one priority.
Lord, There is nothing more manly that a man who acts rather than reacts.
There is nothing more manly than a man who uses his sword by reading his bible.
There is nothing more manly than a man loving his wife as Christ loved the church & gave himself up for her.
There is nothing more manly than a man being the spiritual head of his family.
There is nothing more manly than a man who prays.
There is nothing more manly than a man who serves his community, church and family.
There is nothing more manly than a man bringing his children up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
There is nothing more manly than when a man who falls down, stands back up & dusts himself off, learns from his mistakes, says a prayer of repentance, and gets back in the fray to Make a Difference for you.
There is nothing more manly than a man who guards his heart because everything in life comes from it.
There is nothing more manly than a man who gets MAD or Makes a Difference for you.
We pray for the ability to walk everyday in Your calling as a MAN, a Warrior Man for God, a Man of Valor, a Man of Honor and More than a Conquerer by Making a Difference as we submit to You and Your ways.