Updated: May 18
Here are some simple formulas to consider for parenting. They are not fool proof but if followed, I believe they will greatly increase your success with your child. As parents, we can only do our best and give God the rest. Check them out.
Relationship + Rules = Harmony
When you have a relationship with your child, you will be more able to set boundaries and rules. To build a relationships with your child, you have to make deposits in their emotional bank account. You do that by looking for the good things that your child is doing and giving them praise for it. That in turn builds trust and security with your child. Then, when you do set boundaries and rules, your child will be more likely to follow them because of the trust and security that you've built up in their emotional bank account. They know that guidelines are there because of your love for them and they are there to protect them.
No Relationship + Rules = Rebellion
When you don't have a relationship with your child, you have not built into their emotional bank account and therefore there is no trust or security. Why would they want to listen to your rules. This would cause your child to rebel against them.
Relationship + No Rules = Confusion
When there is a relationship but no rules, you are not the parent but you become more of a friend which ultimately leads to confusion for your child. Your child needs your love and experiences to help guide and direct them through life challenges.
No Relationship + No Rules = Chaos
When there is no relationship and no rules, it seems quite obvious but this is going to lead to choas. You have a child who believes they can do whatever they want whenever they want wherever they want.
For more information on Parenting, please check out my blog "The Family Emotional Bank Account".