Updated: Dec 22, 2021
Father’s Blessing in Biblical Days
The Father’s blessing was so important back in biblical times that Jacob deceived his father to steal his brother Esau’s blessing. It’s found in Genesis 27:1-41
Verse 41 says ‘From that time on, Esau hated Jacob because their father had given Jacob the blessing. And Esau began to scheme: “I will soon be mourning my father’s death. Then I will kill my brother, Jacob.”’
As you can see, the father’s blessing was so important that Jacob was willing to deceive his father for it. Esau was so upset about losing it that he was willing to kill his brother for it. How important is it these days? Not much. Most people don’t even know what it is. By the way, overtime, Jacob and Esau did mend their relationship and forgave each other.
Listen to this as the Heavenly Father blesses his own son, Jesus in Matthew 3:17. John the Baptist had just baptized Jesus and then God’s voice boomed down from heaven and said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
Let me tell you about my dad. As a kid, I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. No matter what I did, my dad didn’t affirm me. He would constantly take negative withdrawals from my emotional savings account and rarely give me a positive deposit. It seemed like he always criticized me.
My mom would have me go in the garage to help my dad work on the family car. I dreaded it. He would ask me to get him a screwdriver or some tool but it never seemed like I could ever find the right one for him. It got to the point that I didn’t like to be around him.
Men of Honor
I’m the regional director for a program that teaches biblical character to young men called Men of Honor. In our axioms, it says that “Manhood and Christlikeness are synonymous” and “Being a male is a matter of birth and being a man is a matter of choice”.
My dad had sexually explicit books in our bathroom and had pornographic pictures hanging in our shed. It made it very easy for me to access. As a young boy trying to figure out my manhood with no Men of Honor program or direction from my dad, I thought manhood and pornography was synonymous and being a male was a matter of birth but being a man was a matter of looking at porn.
What I was introduced to as a young boy, has become a constant battlefield of the mind for me. Imagine if my dad, instead of introducing to porn, had given me a Father’s blessing and encouraged me to guard my heart, eyes and mind like the bible says? I wouldn’t have the struggle that I have today.
My dad didn’t really believe in Jesus either. What he did believe was going to church was a waste of time. He thought doing this, what I’m doing today with you, writing blogs based on the bible to help families is stupid and a waste of time. I hope that you don’t feel that this post has been stupid or a waste of your time?
He couldn’t see why I liked to go to church or grow in my faith. He’d even make cutting remarks about it from time to time. Have you ever have someone close to you make cutting remarks about you or your faith? It can really hurt.
Swore Like a Drunken Sailor
He swore like a drunken sailor and he would make inappropriate sexual remarks around my young girls. I loved my dad but was embarrassed to have my children around him. Any of you have a dad like that?
So, what does the bible say how we should choose when someone wrongs us like my dad had done or dropped the ball on their fatherly responsibilities of making positive deposits into our lives? Turn to John 20: 22-23 in your bibles. It says “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”
The first thing the verse says is that we need to “Receive the Holy Spirit.” Why? Because forgiveness can be hard. We can’t do it under our own human strength. We need the God’s Holy Spirit power, grace, truth and mercy to forgive.
The Principle of Release
Then God is saying that when you choose to forgive someone who has wronged you, you are actually releasing or letting go of those sins. This is a powerful principal. It’s called the ‘Principal of Release’.
But here’s the catch, God also says that if you choose not to forgive someone who has wronged you, you retain those sins.There’s a saying that goes like this, “Un-forgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.”
Un-Forgiveness Hurts Us
When we don’t forgive when someone has hurt us, we are actually retaining the venomous poison of guilt, shame, resentment, bitterness or more. In other words, choosing un-forgiveness can be deadly. Un-forgiveness has been proven to be the cause of anxiety, depression, headaches, heart disease, panic attacks and a lot more.
I believe the sins of the father are being passed on from generation to generation these days. In a lot of cases, the young person who was hurt, abused, or neglected by their father will say something like this “I could never forgive him for what he did to me”. Of course I can understand why they might feel that way but by not forgiving, according to God’s word, they are retaining the poison of their father’s sin. Did you know that nearly 100% of all adults who abuse or hurt children were abused or hurt themselves as children. Don’t become what your father was to you, by not forgiving and retaining his sins.
Jesus is Our Example
There’s a guy I know. He was really nice and always helping others. Those he loved though bullied him, ridiculed him and mocked him. They spit on him. They blindfolded him and then they would punch him in the face and ask him to guess who it was. They humiliated him by stripping him of his clothes. Then they tied his hands and then whipped his back and legs. They drove nails through his hands and his feet and nailed him to a cross.
Our sins put him there. Yours sins. My sins. Jesus could have said on the cross “There is absolutely no way that I could ever forgive them for what they did to me”. But he didn’t. Instead, he said “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”.
Jesus is our example for forgiveness. If he could forgive me for all the sins I’ve ever committed and forgive you for all the sins you’ve committed, then why can’t we forgive our fathers who have sinned against us.
Please, Listen to Me
Please, listen to me, if your father or anyone else has hurt you or abused you in any way, I want to strongly encourage you to choose to forgive through the power of the Holy Spirit to release those sins and the toxins that they hold. People are going through life with the toxic memory of unfinished business deep in their souls. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior and let them off the hook. The bible says God will deal with them. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from poisoning your life.
I Love You Son and am Proud of You
I had forgiven my dad and thought I’d never hear the words Jesus heard from His Heavenly Father. Remember them? “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” I longed to hear those words. I didn’t receive them until I was 41 years old. I got a card in the mail from my dad that said “I love you son and am proud of you”. This is probably the most precious thing I’ve ever received from my dad. I’m guessing, a number of you would like to hear those same words too.
When a father says something or does something positive for their child, he’s making a positive deposit in your emotional account. If he says that you have what it takes by affirming you, he’s making deposits of greatness in you. If he prays for you to have courage to get through the day, to positively instruct you in the way you should go, and encourages you, his blessing reverses the curse of fatherlessness that is destroying our nation today.
Didn’t Get Great Training
You may not have a father like that. Maybe your father didn’t get great training from his dad or maybe he doesn’t have a father’s heart. I’m not trying to make excuses for him but it does happen. Remember this; forgive and release, like John 20:22-23 says.
If your father has neglected you, left you, is not in the picture or maybe has hurt you physically, with his words, or actions; he has made withdrawals that have left doubt in your emotional bank account. God wants to replace those withdrawals of doubt and replace them with deposits of greatness in you. Psalm 27:10 says “My father and my mother walked out on me, but God took me in.”
You are God’s Prized Possession
So what should you do if you’ve never received the fathers blessing? Psalm 27:10 says to put all of your hope and trust in your Heavenly Father who will never leave you nor forsake you. Remember, it’s not your fault. You are special. God doesn’t make junk. You are created in His image. You are His prized possession. He has a plan and a purpose for your life, a hope and a future for you. There is absolutely nothing that could separate you from Christ’s love. Go to your Heavenly Father to receive the father’s blessing.
I’d like to close with this. It’s a message that I received through Facebook from a young man at a Man of Honor camp many years ago. I’d never met him before that weekend and haven’t seen him since except through Facebook. Listen to what he wrote.
“Randy Badge! How is it going? I was reading through Facebook and came across your status for your Men of Honor meeting. That was really a clever way to try and grab the attention of young men. Anyways, it brought back some memories from my last Man of Honor camp when you prayed over me. I just wanted to let you know how great of an impact that had on me. My dad has never really been around for me and when you prayed over me that day, it really meant the world. So, thank you!”
I went on to encourage him as a ‘World Changer’ and he said that he can’t change all the evil in the world but he can make a difference ‘one life at a time’. So his goal is to be a ‘Life Changer’. He’s taken the Father’s blessing and he’s reversing the curse and so can you.
For all of you, if you have an involved caring dad, praise God. You are blessed. You need to thank God for him.
You Can Rise Above
But if you don’t, you can rise above it. Find someone to be a mentor to you. It could be a teacher, coach, relative, or anyone who will encourage you. I know the Men and Ladies of Honor leaders that I’m a part of love to do that for anyone needing encouragement. They would be willing to stand in the gap for your dad and bless you, pray for you, deposit positive words encouragement into your emotional bank account and let you know that God has placed greatness inside of you. Find someone - anyone to do that.
For dad’s, if you have been praying and encouraging your children, keep it up. Don’t let up or give up.
For those dads who haven’t, it’s never too late to start. You can start by giving a “Father’s Blessing” today. Today could be the start to your new beginning for your family. God has ordained you with His Holy Spirit power to honor and positively affect your family for good and leave a legacy that will last. Go out and use it.
For more information about men, check out "Men-In the Crosshairs" by clicking here.
For information on how to honor dad by writing a tribute, click here.